Alive

Alive in Ideasland.

The surest antidote to stress from work overhang: Work.

Distress

Feeling guilty about being relaxed.

Thirty one

As she says, I now have as many years to my name, as there are days in the longest months.

Our own home, perfectly rendered.
Exciting new work that keeps me on my toes. Great people. I really wonder if I am cut out for good, hard work. I like it.
The oak and the cypress continue to grow, not in each other's shadow.
Three months of blissful solitude.
3.2 million years would have taken us to Lucy. We went to Olduvai instead.
78 million km would have taken us to Mars. We went to Nippon instead.

Another wonderful year. And, as I was thinking the other day, if the stars are kind, a full life it just might be, one year at a time.

First

I don't think I have felt such real fear and stress before.

I can't sleep. And, I almost cried today.

I can't imagine how I would cope if not for her. Silver lining.

Edge

Strangely cramped by inaction and feeling symptoms of withdrawal from intensity, even if this is just a brief interlude.

Feeling tense and on edge, for reasons I can't fathom.

What is happening to me? It is still all good, I suppose. I am anxious. And, happy.

Reminder

to self, that this is just a self-inflicted passing struggle, and the big things in life are still rosy and matter more. That I will look back and smile. For a long time. That I always have a choice.

So, how do I enjoy this and get the best out of it? For it will not last forever.

Baptism

My first week. Everyone in the room is at least as smart as I am. That used to be my edge.

They are all willing and able to work much harder than I am. At least, as of now.

Paralysis Friday.

The work is exciting. The potential impact deeply satisfying. Both to me and the client. Perhaps more to me. That is how I must look at this.

Six months down the road, let us hope I look at this post. And, smile.