Ringtones

I don't understand the deal with fancy ringtones.

Almost everyday, I catch someone in the office running to her desk to hush her handphone, as it tries to grab her attention, by spouting out a fancy embarassing ringtone (which she has selected herself).

Fact A: Other people will usually hear your handphone ringing. Fact B: It is too embarassing to let other people hear the ringtone.

How is this supposed to work? And, we've already spent millions of dollars downloading ringtones.

Vivien (or Vivienne or Vivian)

"Hello Ashwin, this is Vivien..."

I had to break it to her today. She has been calling me incessantly, for about three months now. So often that a careless observer looking at my telephone log would have surmised the presence of more than one Filipina in my life.

I let the calls keep coming. As a gentle reminder. That I still had to check something out.

"Hello Ashwin, this is Vivien from Fitness First..."

I have found the public gym at Clementi Sports Centre. $2.50 per entry. On the way home from work. Suits me just fine. I hope I persist. For Vivien's sake.

H.E.A.T.

The heat here is oppressive. I am not referring to Help Educate And Teach. Or, the good 1995 movie with Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer and the irresistible Ashely Judd.

It is 29 C and the humidity is a ridiculous 89%. I am feeling every bit of it. An hour at the stove, cooking french beans and green peas in a coconut curry, surely did not help.

Hiding in my room now. Air conditioning. Reclining chair with footrest. Some respite.

Types of IPL Player

Oldie Goldies: Whoever said that Hayden, Gilchrist, Warne and Murali have walked into the sunset... Even if they have, they are enjoying the nightlife. The magic continues.

Mercenaries: Predominantly white men. Especially good at calmly pouching skied catches at the boundary line. Most of them, you have not heard of before. Nannes, Harris, Pomersbach - they come in a variety of names.

Young Guns: Our hopes for the future - especially next month, when we wrestle for the ICC World Twenty 20. Rohit, Raina, et al. For a change, some of them can actually field.

Young Buns: The Oldies eat them for breakfast. An approaching cricket ball scares them shitless. They deal only in fumbles and stumbles, play pea-brained shots and bowl rank bad balls. All out of fear of losing a place in the team, which they never have gained.