Watershed

I turned twenty-nine this weekend (kicking and screaming, and really sick). In some ways, this could well turn out to be a watershed year - first year as man and wife, career headwinds, the last stretch before the dreaded thirties, and the last chance to do some things, before I give them up forever. I guess I have made a habit of listing down New Year and birthday resolutions for some time now. Really, the disappointment has been that some, maybe even many, of them never made the leap from plan to action.

Well, we will still go ahead and write those things down. Perhaps, this time will be different. Here goes, anyway:

1. Be a better husband. Perhaps even a better son, brother, friend, etc.
2. Run that marathon in December.
3. Improve my work ethic. Be productive.
4. Make sure there is a Plan by December.
5. Don’t let the kitty run out.
6. Complete the Spanish language diploma.
7. Shoot, write and go under.
8. Climb Mount Kinabalu.
9. See the world.
10. Learn to rest more in the present, and run less into the future (Ahem, contrary to this whole exercise, no?).

We will also continue to look for the elusive answer to that question – what do I really want with life? Recent events and conversations have persuaded me that I desperately and urgently need to look within, and, dare to want, to dream. Twice in three years, at job interviews, it has been pointed out to me that I sat there in front of them, utterly unconvinced that I wanted the job. Unconvinced - not just unconvincing. Is that not truly dangerous?

Exciting times ahead - I have asked a friend to perform an experiment with me. I have asked him to write down on a piece of paper where he thinks I will be in a year’s time, and tell me when that bell tolls.

Then, we will know.

Meanwhile, another sobering moment. The stubble is graying. I hope that comes with some wisdom. And, grace.